i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
high people should be assigned attendants
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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