Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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