remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
