You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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