i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
