I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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