I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize