If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
