i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
