This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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