I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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