i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
