My room smells like vodka and shame
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
