then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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