If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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