I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize