I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have post one night stand depression
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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