I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
