but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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