Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You left your phone here
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