you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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