i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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