How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
