Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
