he wants to bone in the snuggie
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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