Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
