Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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