I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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