So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
