I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
