I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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