WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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