So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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