He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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