Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
