i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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