I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
