i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize