so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
