your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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