sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
