Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The feeling are messing with the penis
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
