Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize