Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
