I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
