Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
