Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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