i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
