i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
