It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize