Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have aggressive nipples.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
