SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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