Cold hands, warm shart.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
