He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
