i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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