btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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