You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
